So you got a new fella and everything is going great, the relationship is beautifully blissful, the sex is highly fulfilling and absolutely nothing can get in your romantic way, that’s until…’knock knock…who’s there?’ THE EX!
Unfortunately, the dreaded ex-girlfriend has and will always be a part of your man’s life. It’s the one human we are prone to dislike and judge without needing a valid reason to loathe and despise, which in most cases can be very understandable… but surely enough we have ALL been one at one time or another (unless you have forever been a single pringle, in which case ‘i salute you’).
Obsessing over one’s ex-partner is an unfortunate mistake that we all tend to make, comparing and competing with somebody who hopefully no longer matters to the man you’re now with is border-line crazy but what do we do when the ex comes a knocking?
Some ex-girlfriends are simply easy to leave in the box of the past, the closed memory bank or the hated hamper but other niggly buggars take time, patience and endurance to let go of – and by god do they make it difficult for you and your other half! So who do we have in our list of ex-girlfriend types?
The Manic Messenger – The ex-girlfriend that does not and will not take NO for an answer. Multiple ignored texts mean nothing, she severely can’t take a hint, feels no humiliation and believes she will always get what she wants if she sends ‘one more’ message (but let’s face it, we’ve all been there!)
The Fake Friend – The ex-girlfriend that just wants to be ‘friends’ with hidden intentions to rekindle the love. Sneaky snake ex number 2 knows exactly what she’s doing…acts innocently platonic for the right amount of time, only to pucker up and jump in for that unexpected kiss with her so-called BFF!
The Life Absorber – The ex-girlfriend that refuses to cut ties and does everything possible to remain in your life. She’s that close to your mam that she’s the daughter she never had and the sister you certainly never wanted. These types may also flirt with your dad – beware!
The Bitter Bull-shitter – The ex-girlfriend who says anything and everything to dampen your name. Toxic ex number 3 is out for full revenge. If she can’t have you then she wants nobody else to want you – potentially destroying you with her bullshit lies and giving zero shits about it.
The Attention Demander – The ex-girlfriend that craves attention (bad or good) and will stop at nothing to receive it. Ring Ring …’Oh hi it’s me again’ – bump bump …’Oh I didn’t know you shopped here’ cry cry …Sorry, i didn’t realise this was YOUR granny’s funeral’.
The Psycho – The ex-girlfriend that should never be in relationships because she’s simply bat-shit crazy and unstable, making you fear for your life! (If you’re experiencing this…CALL THE POLICE!)
And then you have the ex-girlfriend category that us normal ones sweetly pretend to be:
The I don’t care and I’ve moved on – The ex-girlfriend that tricks herself into believing that she has in fact moved on and couldn’t care less who her ex-partners new partner is (OH THE LIES)
So with an abundance of ex-girlfriend types, we are bound to experience the unwanted presence of at least one!
My own personal experience has led me to believe that the worst of all types is in fact the LIFE ABSORBER. This situation is similar to your man having a puss-filled pimple that won’t budge no matter how many times you pop, squeeze and apply toothpaste. I’m talking serious invasion of life and love. A person that adopts their once-partners friends and family with a scary intent to never leave. I mean most people break up, break bonds and cut ties…they leave the life they shared with that other person and simply start a new…but the Life Absorber tends to linger like a nostril-engulfing smell.
We can try our best to exclude and excuse problems caused by an ex but the question is, where do we draw the line?
Jealousy and insecurities are inevitable when the boyfriends ex is clinging on and constantly in sight or mind, but if your man is a MAN who prioritises your feelings over hers then he will do everything in his power to put a stop to it and draw a line in the sand for good.