Ever met a motherfucker with a soul as sticky and black as a piece of chewed up liquorice on a hot summer’s day? In this mind-fucking world we live in, it’s an unfortunate shame that some of the people we come across daily are aesthetically pretty with downright ugly hearts. Occasionally we can get side-trackedContinue reading “UGLY HEART”


The majority of the world has now heard of the once misunderstood platform Onlyfans – unless of course you are a technology-phobe pensioner or a rightly unaware infant…in which case I advise you to ‘X’ this page immediately and find something more suitable and pleasant to read. Onlyfans is a global money-making scheme in whichContinue reading “ONLY HATERS”


Ever wanted to just cut this thick layer of nostril-offending Bullshit that we all seem to hide behind and say those four freeing words …’Oh just f**k off’? Why is it, that in order to live a peaceful and content life we have to follow the acceptable guide of ‘stay quiet, be nice, pretend toContinue reading “CHOO-F**KING-CHOO”


It’s flabbergasting-madness that some of our men give nada fucklings about who they’re about to cock-dip, as long as their load gets well and truly blown. I mean, how is having zero sexual standards and a dick as dirty as a holiday flip flop, good for overall self-worth and general hygiene? I have always questionedContinue reading “ANY HOLE’S A GOAL!”


Hello and welcome to the controversial topic regarding the men we give an inch to, who take a bleeding mile. Before I begin to slander a hefty percentage of the male species, I would kindly like to point out that this is for entertainment purposes only and no men were in fact harmed in theContinue reading “PUNCH-TO-PRICK”


Can the quality of sex be an ultimate decider on who we choose to be with on an emotional level? Of course the fun we have in the bedroom is a high rated factor when choosing our relationships…but does the human brain and genital region occasionally confuse an orgasm for love? A lot of usContinue reading “BIG L OR BIG O?”


The morning after. A long and intense night of passionate, yet animalistic sex. You’re relaxed and satisfied with orgasmic euphoria, coffee in hand and a smile on your face. You stumble out of bed in search of your floor sprawled garments. Retrieving each item of your pre-shag ensemble. You’re stuck with confusion and a hintContinue reading “NICKED KNICKS”


So you got a new fella and everything is going great, the relationship is beautifully blissful, the sex is highly fulfilling and absolutely nothing can get in your romantic way, that’s until…’knock knock…who’s there?’ THE EX! Unfortunately, the dreaded ex-girlfriend has and will always be a part of your man’s life. It’s the one human weContinue reading “EX-TINGUISH”


As I sit typing this I ask myself ‘is it right, or in fact normal for a woman to enjoy and express sexual desires as much as a man?’ You see, I struggle dearly with sex being so taboo and believe it to be such a natural and positive act that should be experienced andContinue reading “HIGH & DRY”


Baggage, we all carry it around with us like an emotional weight made up of trust issues, insecurities and fear. Some of us have an easy lifting rucksack, others have a couple of bashed up old bin bags, and then there’s the few like myself who have a Stobart sized lorry packed full of ourContinue reading “BAGS FOR LIFE”


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